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Unconditional Self-Esteem Defined
"It is the part of an uneducated person to blame others where he himself fares ill; to blame himself is the part of one whose education has begun; to blame neither another nor his own self is the part of one whose education is already complete."--Epictetus, Enchiridion
The 4 Keys to Counseling: USE, UOE, ULE, UAE
USE: This is unconditional self-esteem. It is opposite to conditional self-esteem (CSE).
With unconditional self-esteem, you esteem your being unconditionally no matter what you do or experience. With conditional self-esteem, you esteem your self based on what you know, do, have, and-or experience. USE relates to REBT's USA, unconditional self-acceptance. It differs from USA in that USA is neutral whereas USE is positive.
UOE: This is unconditional other-esteem. It is opposite to conditional other-esteem (COE).
With unconditional other-esteem, you esteem another's being unconditionally no matter what they do or experience. With conditional other-esteem, you esteem another's self based on what they know, do, have, and-or experience. This relates to REBT's UOA, unconditional other acceptance. It differs from UOA in that UOA is neutral whereas UOE is positive.
ULE: This is unconditional life-esteem. It is opposite to conditional life-esteem (CLE).
With unconditional life-esteem, you esteem life unconditionally no matter what life is. With conditional life-esteem, you esteem life based on what life does or does not do for you and-or others. This relates to REBT's concept of choosing to prefer differences instead of choosing to awfulize about situations. It differs from REBT theory in that ULE teaches positive attitudes regarding life no matter what life brings. Life as a whole is unconditionally regarded positively.
UAE: This is unconditional ability-esteem. It is opposite to conditional ability-esteem (CAE).
With unconditional ability-esteem, you esteem your abilities unconditionally no matter if you fail or succeed. With conditional ability-esteem, you esteem your ability based on whether you succeed or fail. This relates to REBT's concept of HFT, high frustration tolerance. It differs from REBT's HFT in that the focus of UAE is on accepting your abilities rather than on accepting life's frustrations. UAE is related to Albert Bandura's concept of self-efficacy.
QUOTATIONS VARIOUS SOURCES
"The main emotional support that you can give yourself is what we have mentioned several times already in this book--achieving unconditional self-acceptance (USA)."--Albert Ellis & Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 230.
"As ever, we use the Christian and REBT philosophy of accepting the sinner but not the sin."--Albert Ellis & Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 230.
"The attitude of unconditional self-acceptance is probably the most important variable in their long-term recovery."--Albert Ellis, Rational-Emotive Therapy with Alcoholics and Substance Abusers, page 71
"Flow with whatever may happen and let your mind be free. Stay centered by accepting whatever you are doing."--Chuang-Tzu
"Self-esteem steals souls."--Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
"If value is potential, then all humans are always good for all humans always have the potential for good."--Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
"The cause of all sins in every case lies in the person's excessive love of self."--Plato, Laws
"Condemn the sin not the sinner."--Christian saying
"Despise the crime not the criminal."--Japanese saying
Self-Esteem Disputes: 50 Short