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Emotional Responsibility Diagram
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DISCOVER
The above diagram makes it clear that the person who upsets themselves (Person Two) does this to themselves. They are victims only of their own minds. It is both their choice to take the insult seriously (to own it or to take it to heart) and to choose to think a lot about it. It is these two choices that make the insult painful--and not the insult itself.
You have the ability to respond emotionally and when you claim that your response ability is determined by other people, places, and things--you are out of control and superstitious.
QUOTATIONS VARIOUS SOURCES
"The more you are willing to accept responsibility for your actions, the more credibility you will have."--Brian Koslow
"Nobody can bring you peace but yourself."--Ralph Waldo Emerson
"The willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life is the source from which self-respect springs."--Joan Didion
"Life always gets harder towards the summit--the cold increases, responsibility increases."--Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, 1844-1900
"The fault, Dear Brutus, is not in our stars; but in ourselves, that we are underlings."--William Shakespeare in Julius Caesar
"Accuse not Nature, she hath done her part; Do thou but thine."--John Milton in Paradise Lost
"Not flattered by praise, not hurt by blame."--Buddhist saying
"I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul."--W. E. Henley in Invictus
"We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same."--Carlos Castenada
"What poison is to food, self-pity is to life."--Oliver C. Wilson
"I am happy and content because I think I am."--Alain-Rene Lesage
"Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."--Abraham Lincoln
"Some pursue happiness, others create it."--Anonymous
"The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself."--Benjamin Franklin
"Not in the shouts and plaudits of the throng, but in ourselves, are triumph and defeat."--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
"Each man the architect of his own fate."--Sallust
"The ability to accept responsibility is the measure of the man."--Roy Smith
"Man must cease attributing his problems to his environment, and learn again to exercise his will--his personal responsibility in the realm of faith and morals."--Albert Schweitzer
"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves."--William Shakespeare
"My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment."--Oprah Winfrey
"An excuse is a lie guarded."--Jonathan Swift
"To a large extent I can control my feelings and desires and can change them so that I lead a happier existence."--Albert Ellis & Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 247.
"A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds."--Francis Bacon
"Luck is where preparation meets opportunity."--Anonymous
"Nothing stops the man who desires to achieve. Every obstacle is simply a course to develop his achievement muscle. It's a strengthening of his powers of accomplishment."--Eric Butterworth
"Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it."--Michael Jordan
"Why is it that people are willing to take responsibility for their happiness or mild sadness but not their severe disturbance or great unhappiness?--why ego of course!"--Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
"While they were saying among themselves it cannot be done, it was done."--Helen Keller
"Whatever may be, I am still largely the creator and ruler of my emotional destiny."--Albert Ellis & Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 252. Order A Guide to Rational Living.
"The only disability in life is a bad attitude."--Scott Hamilton
"Teaching the principle of emotional responsibility can be one of the hardest tasks in REBT as clients may have habitually blamed others for their problems and now the therapist is pointing to the true source of their emotional problems--themselves."--Michael Neenan and Windy Dryden, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy: Advances in Theory & Practice, page 43
"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."--Agnes Repplier
"A man's as miserable as he thinks he is."--Marcus Seneca
"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."--Anonymous
"If we have not peace within ourselves, it is in vain to seek it from outward sources."--Francois de La Rochefoucauld
"A baby expects to be soothed, but a mature adult soothes themselves."--Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
"Adults are expert at self-disturbance and inept at self-soothing."--Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
"No one has ever gotten to anyone."--Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
"If pleasure first, then pain second."--Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
"There is no man so low that the cure for his condition does not lie strictly within himself."--Thomas L. Masson
"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."--Mark Twain
"Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does."--Jean-Paul Sartre, 1905-1980
"But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another."--Galatians 6:4
"Are you part of the problem or part of the solution?"--Annonymous
"If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you!"--Sister Mary Tricky
"It belongs to small-mindedness to be unable to bear either honor or dishonor, either good fortune or bad, but to be filled with conceit when honored and puffed up by trifling good fortune, and to be unable to bear even the smallest dishonor and to deem any chance failure a great misfortune, and to be distressed and annonyed at everything. Moreover the small-minded man is the sort of person to call all slights an insult and dishonor, even those that are due to ignorance or forgetfulness. Small-mindedness is accompanied by pettiness, querulousness, pessimism and self-abasement."--Aristotle, Virtues and Vices
"I realised that they had already taken everything from me except my mind and my heart. Those they could not take without my permission. I decided not to give them away. And neither should you."--Nelson Mandela
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