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Blaming and Damning Compound Problems
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"He therefore that despiseth, despiseth not man, but God, who hath also given unto us His holy Spirit."--I Thessalonians 4:8
"We can actually put the essence of neurosis in a single word: blaming--or damning."--Albert Ellis & Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 127. Order A Guide to Rational Living
Blaming and damning take one problem and multiply it into a whole set of problems. Oh boy! What joy! You too can have 10 problems for the price of only 1!
1. You still have the original problem.
2. Now you have the additional problem of the conflict with others that blaming and damning cause.
3. Now you have the additional problem of the conflict with reality that blaming and damning cause.
4. Now you have the additional negative stress caused by the negative energy of blaming and damning.
5. Now you have the additional problem of the time and energy wasted by blaming and damning.
6. Now you have the additional problem of how to end the blaming and damning.
7. Now you have the additional problem of being removed several steps from peace of mind by blaming and damning.
8. Now you have the additional problem of the lack of acceptance of reality that blaming and damning cause.
9. Now you have the additional problem of your being stuck focused on blaming and damning--so having no time for problem-solving solutions for the original problem.
10. Now you have the additional problem of your being fixated on blaming and damning--so having no time for coping with the original problem.
Want more evidence, more problems? How about the effect of your whining on your relationships with others? It will not exactly endear you to others! At least not to others you should want to be around!
Need still more? How about the fact that whatever you serve, dwell on, or think about--you are attracting into your life. Do you really want the garbage of blaming and damning more in your life? How will it manifest itself? In the end, you get what you magnify, what you serve.
QUOTATIONS VARIOUS SOURCES
"It is the part of an uneducated person to blame others where he himself fares ill; to blame himself is the part of one whose education has begun; to blame neither another nor his own self is the part of one whose education is already complete."--Epictetus, Enchiridion
"He therefore that despiseth, despiseth not man, but God, who hath also given unto us His holy Spirit."--I Thessalonians 4:8
"I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him."--Booker Taliaferro Washington, 1856-1915
"As long as the mind is in conflict--blaming, resisting, condemning--there can be no understanding. If I want to understand you, I must not condemn you, obviously."--J. Krishnamurti in The Collected Works of J. Krishnamurti, Volume V, page 51
"You are what you hate not what you ate."--Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
"I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism."--Charles M. Schwab
"We can actually put the essence of neurosis in a single word: blaming--or damning."--Albert Ellis & Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 127. Order A Guide to Rational Living.
'Damning is the worst form of demanding."--Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
"If you would stop, really stop, damning yourself, others, and unkind conditions, you would find it almost impossible to upset yourself emotionally--about anything. Yes, anything."--Albert Ellis & Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 127
"Let us not burden our remembrances with a heaviness that is gone."--William Shakespeare
"The moment you blame anyone for anything, your relationship and your personal power deteriorate."--Brian Koslow
"And just as two wrongs don't make a right, rage against offenders is probably the worst way to try to correct them."--Albert Ellis & Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 130
"You can overcome anything if you don't bellyache."--Bernard Baruch
"Give not over thy mind to heaviness, and afflict not thyself in thine own counsel."--Ecclesiasticus 30:21
"Do not weep; do not wax indignant. Understand."--Baruch Spinoza
"Being right does not give you the right to damn."--Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
"Even when people act nastily to you, don't condemn them or retaliate."--Albert Ellis & Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 205
"Only God can damn without serving Satan."--Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
"When you blame others, you give up your power to change."--Anonymous
"Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame."--Erica Jong
"Teaching the principle of emotional responsibility can be one of the hardest tasks in REBT as clients may have habitually blamed others for their problems and now the therapist is pointing to the true source of their emotional problems--themselves."--Michael Neenan and Windy Dryden, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy: Advances in Theory & Practice, page 43
"Damning is when the medicine is worse than the poison."--Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
"He that is void of wisdom despiseth his neighbour: but a man of understanding holdeth his peace."--Proverbs 11:12
"Damning is when the cure is worse than the illness."--Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
"Feeling stupid won't make you smart."--Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
"The whiner equates pain with power."--Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
"Feeling bad won't make you good."--Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
"Damning is turning the living into things, into the dead."--Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
"You can overcome anything if you don't bellyache."--Bernard M. Baruch
"When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself."--Louis Nizer
"The farther behind I leave the past, the closer I am to forging my own character."--Isabelle Eberhardt
"Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours."--Swedish proverb
"You cannot solve a problem by condemning it."--Wayne Dwyer
"Condemn the sin not the sinner."--Christian saying
"Despise the crime not the criminal."--Japanese saying
"Blame is a lazy man's wages."--Danish Proverb
"No one is a failure until they blame somebody else."--Charles (Tremendous) Jones
"A man may fall many times but he won't be a failure until he says someone pushed him."--Elmer G. Letterman
"A man can get discouraged many times but he is not a failure until he begins to blame somebody else and stops trying."--John Burroughs
"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them."--George Bernard Shaw
"A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday."--Alexander Pope
"If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month."--Anonymous
"There can be no doubt that the average man blames much more than he praises. His instinct is to blame. If he is satisfied he says nothing; if he is not, he most illogically kicks up a row."--Arnold Bennett
"The search for someone to blame is always successful."--Robert Half
"When we blame, we give away our power."--Greg Anderson
"When you blame others, you give up your power to change."--Dr. Robert Anthony
"All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you."--Wayne Dyer
"A good leader takes a little more than his share of the blame, a little less than his share of the credit."--Arnold H. Glasgow
"To find a fault is easy; to do better may be difficult."--Plutarch
"In short, luck's always to blame."--Jean De La Fontaine
"I praise loudly, I blame softly."--Catherine II of Russia
"Before we blame we should first see whether we cannot excuse."--George C. Lichtenberg
"Don't be a blame thrower."--Greg Hickman
"Fix the problem, not the blame."--Catherine Pulsifer
"Don't make excuses, make good."--Elbert Hubbard
"The superior man blames himself. The inferior man blames others."--Don Shula
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