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4 Counseling Issues
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"Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end."--Proverbs 19:20
COUNSELING SIMPLIFIED
4 ISSUES: Blaming, Damning, Deifying, Demanding
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BLAMING avoidance, backbiting, bystander, chronic complaining, dependence, discomfort disturbance, disorganized, displacement, ego disturbance, enmeshment, escapism, external locus of control, externally referented, finger pointing, game player, grumbling, helplessness, hopelessness, immature, irresponsibility, king baby, low frustration tolerance, nagging, neediness, outer-directed, passive-aggressive, personalizing, projection, reactive, regressive, self-abusing, symbiotic relationships, tattling, unaccountable, undifferentiated, victimhood, voodoo emotions, whining, without boundaries |
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RESPONSIBILITY accountable, adaptive, assertive, autonomous, differentiated, emotionally mature, emotionally responsible, experimenting, exploring, game free, independent, individual, inner-directed, integrity, internal locus of control, internally referented, mature, ordered, organized, participant, personal boundaries, planning, proactive, requires evidence, risk taking, searching, self-actualized, self-aware, self-contained, self-control, self-correcting, self-dialoguing, self-directing, self-examination, self-governed, self-mastery, self-nurturing, self-ownership, self-reliance, tests everything |
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DAMNING abhor, abominate, absolutistic, accuse, anger, awfulize, bicker, belittle, catastrophize, closed-minded, condemn, conflicted, defame, demonize, denounce, depress, deride, despise, destroy, detest, devilifying, disconfirm, discount, discourage, discredit, discrimination, disparage, disqualify, distort, downgrade, dramatize, ego bound, fight, genocide, gossip, hates human nature, horrorize, humiliate, hurtful, intolerant, irrational, labeling, loathe, minimize, mock, mudslinging, nagging, negative propaganda, negative self-concept or self-esteem or self-image, news, overgeneralize, persecute, phony, prejudice, punish, put-down, racism, rage, rate humans, repression, ridicule, run down, sarcasm, satire, scandal, self-abuse, self-castigation, self-denigration, self-downing, self-reproach, shame, strife, superiority, undervalue, upbraid, war, worthless |
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Unconditional accepts criticism, accepts human nature, admits errors, aligned, alive, attuned, authentic, believes in human equality, believes in one shared human nature, candid, centered, child-hearted, collected, compassionate, confident, congruent, curing, ego free, egoless, empathic, ends all being ratings, fluid, forgiveness, fun, genuine, happy, healthy, integrated, integrity, intimate, loving, motivated from within, nurturing, objective, open, open-minded, positive, rational, real, reciprocity, reliable, sees self in all, seeking within, self-aware, single-minded, sound, spontaneous, straightforward, teachable, tolerant, true to own self, understanding, vital, warm, whole |
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DEIFYING absolute, blind, compensation, conceit, cover, distort, egotism, dramatize , embellish, emotionalism, entitlements, exaggerate, excessive devotion or sentiment, extremism, fawning, flattery, gaudy, grandiosity, hysterical reverence, idealize, idolatrize, idolatry, idolize, infatuation, introjection, justify, label, lie, magic, mania, melodramatic, mushy, narcissism, obsequious, obsess, one-sided, overgeneralize, positive self-concept -esteem -image, pretension, pride, privilege, puffed-up, rationalize, reaction formation, ritual & undoing, romantic love, romanticize, self-aggrandizement -approbation -centered -love -promotion, sentimentality, special consideration/rights, sublimation, superiority, superstition, trumpery, uppityness, utopianism, vanity, wonderfulizing, worship of sport/movie stars, fame, fortune |
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Unconditional advising, advocacy, aiding, assertive, assisting, charitable, comforting, compassionate, confirming, considerate, consistent, contributing, counseling, directing, empathic, encouraging, ends all human worth ratings, ethical, facilitating, forgiveness, friendship, generous, gentle, giving, good will, guardian, hopeful, humble, interdependent, intimate, investigates, kindness, leniency, loves others as self, merciful, moderate, modest, mutuality, nurturing, outspoken, patient, pliable, protection, recovery, rehabilitation, sensitive, social work, supportive, systemic, teaching, therapy, training, unselfish, visionary, warm |
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DEMANDING
aggressive, anger, arrogance, authoritarian, blind, choiceless, commanding, compulsive, control freaking, controlling, denial, dictating, dominating, domineering, ego serving, emotional games, forward, game playing, got to’s, guilt trips, have to’s, hurtful, ignorant, intolerance, know-it-all, macho, mind games, musts, musturbating, nagging, narcissistic, optionless, out of control, positive self-concept, positive self-esteem, positive self-image, pushy, rage, rationalization, rigid, self-centered, slave of ego needs, stuck, tantrums, violent |
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ACCEPTANCE
adaptive, acclimate, accommodate, affirming, appreciative, bears, calm, careful, come to terms with, cope with, compromise, confirming, creative, crisis as opportunity, deals with, encouraging, endures, flexible, flow, grapple with, helpful, intelligent, make do, make peace with, make the best of, manage, mediation, negotiation, peaceful, positive, problem solving, quiet, reality testing, reconcile wants, resolve self to, responsive, Serenity Prayer, supportive, takes others into account, tolerance, truth serving, work it out, works with it |
QUOTATIONS VARIOUS SOURCES
"A fool is only a fool because he won't see he is a fool."--Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
"A man of genius makes no mistakes. His errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery."--James Joyce
"Failure doesn't have anything to do with your intrinsic value as a person."--Albert Ellis & Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 206
"When receiving correction, the wise seeks to learn and the fool seeks to justify with excuses."--Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
"My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction:"--Proverbs 3:11
"Correction is grievous unto him that forsaketh the way: and he that hateth reproof shall die."--Proverbs 15:5
"For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth."--Hebrews 12:6
"If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?"--Hebrews 12:7
"But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons."--Hebrews 12:8
"The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism."--Norman Vincent Peale
"By honestly acknowledging your past errors, but never damning yourself for them, you can learn to use your past for your own future benefit."--Albert Ellis & Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 194. Order A Guide to Rational Living
"If we eliminated all errors, we would also eliminate much discovery, art, insight, learning, and creativity that results from facing errors."--Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
QUOTATIONS SCRIPTURE
"A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:"--Proverbs 1:5
"Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety."--Proverbs 11:14
"The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise."--Proverbs 12:15
"Deceit is in the heart of them that imagine evil: but to the counsellors of peace is joy."--Proverbs 12:20
"Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established."--Proverbs 15:22
"Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end."--Proverbs 19:20
"Every purpose is established by counsel: and with good advice make war."--Proverbs 20:18
"Take counsel, execute judgment; make thy shadow as the night in the midst of the noonday; hide the outcasts; bewray not him that wandereth."--Isaiah 16:3
"Extol not thyself in the counsel of thine own heart; that thy soul be not torn in pieces as a bull [straying alone.]"--Ecclesiasticus 6:2
"As timber girt and bound together in a building cannot be loosed with shaking: so the heart that is stablished by advised counsel shall fear at no time."--Ecclesiasticus 22:16
"Give not over thy mind to heaviness, and afflict not thyself in thine own counsel."--Ecclesiasticus 30:21
"A man of counsel will be considerate; but a strange and proud man is not daunted with fear, even when of himself he hath done without counsel."--Ecclesiasticus 32:18
"And let the counsel of thine own heart stand: for there is no man more faithful unto thee than it."--Ecclesiasticus 37:13
"Let reason go before every enterprize, and counsel before every action."--Ecclesiasticus 38:33
"Gold and silver make the foot stand sure: but counsel is esteemed above them both."--Ecclesiasticus 40:25
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