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12 Steps of Anger with Simple Example: page 3 of 4
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DRINK
DISCOVER
DISCOVER
"Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil."--Psalms 37:8
1. Sally called me an idiot.
2. I am too smart to deserve this. I know better than to experience that.
3. I feel pride in knowing what is right, in knowing what should be, in knowing better than I experienced.
4. I should have known that term. I should have impressed her. I should have figured out what it meant by myself from the context in which she used it.
5. I am stupid for not knowing that word. I am an inferior person for not appearing smarter. I hate myself for making me appear foolish.
6. I feel ashamed and discouraged.
7. I am mad at Sally for calling me an idiot.
8. I am smarter than Sally. I know better than Sally. I know better how to treat people.
9. I feel pride in knowing better than Sally. I feel arrogant.
10. Sally should be more understanding and not uppity. Sally should think well of me.
11. Sally is stupid for not understanding when someone doesn't know a word. Sally is bad for making me feel bad. Sally is my enemy.
12. I must make Sally pay for making me mad. She must never do that to me again. She must change. She must make me feel better.
STEPS 7-12 WITH A HELPFUL FOCUS
7. I am mad at the thinking that I am smarter and dumber than others.
8. I praise good thinking. I worship good thinking. I honor the thinking that helps me to stop deifying and demonizing myself and others. Instead of thinking I am smart, I need to listen to intelligence. The truth is smart not me just as foolishness is dumb not me. I am not my thinking, therefore, good thinking does not make me good.
9. I enjoy the power and beauty of clear thinking. I am thankful that I have access to good and true thinking to help me. I deify helpful thinking.
10. I should not put my self up or down because that only makes me feel superior or inferior and prevents problem solving. I should stop deifying and demonizing beings.
11. It is stupid to think I am smart or stupid because it programs and scripts me to act stupid by not thinking. My deifying and demonizing of beings is stupid, erroneous, and self-defeating. It is foolish to identify with my thoughts as they come and go and I remain. It is foolish to deify myself as that leads to abusing others because I think they are inferior. It is foolish to demonize myself as that is self-abuse. Deifying beings leads to demonizing beings and demonizing beings leads to racism and genocide.
12. I must deify, blame, and demonize my self and others less and less. I must blame and demonize my stinking thinking more and more. I must deify the truth more and more.
QUOTATIONS VARIOUS SOURCES
"Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord."--Romans 12:19
"A man has no more character than he can command in a time of crisis."--Ralph W. Sockman
"Do not weep; do not wax indignant. Understand."--Baruch Spinoza
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned."--Buddha
"To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it."--Confucius
"To disagree, one doesn't have to be disagreeable."--Barry Goldwater
"He who angers you conquers you."--Elizabeth Kenny
"If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will avoid one hundred days of sorrow."--Chinese proverb
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